Direct Answers - Column for the week of March 22, 2004 Simply a note to ask if there are other wives and males who are happy in their marriage and in their affair at the exact same time? I am fulfilled in your home, in the bed and emotionally, with two males fulfilling my requirements. {It would be terrific if I had discovered a guy who could satisfy me both emotionally and sexually, but it just didn't occur. My partner is likewise wed and feels the exact same way. We will never ever leave our partners, and they are unaware why we do not hound them for physical intimacy anymore. They are both relieved of the pressure, and there are no more {fights or silences|silences or fights}.|It would be terrific if I had discovered a guy who could satisfy me both emotionally and sexually, but it just didn't occur. We will never ever leave our partners, and they are unaware why we do not hound them for physical intimacy anymore.} {Individuals remain wed for many factors, and not all problems can be exercised. The 4 people are buddies, and I sometimes question if they would even object. Let's face it. There are those who just do not like sex! I thought in no sex prior to marriage, and now I know why my man was okay with that! He is not gay, but just says it's not exactly what it's cracked up to be.|Individuals remain wed for many factors, and not all problems can be worked out. The 4 of us are buddies, and I sometimes question if they would even object. He is not gay, but just says it's not exactly what it's cracked up to be.} Chastity Chastity, in among P.G. Wodehouse's books, Bertie Wooster quotes something Jeeves told him. "There can be no love where there is not best trust." {{When people discover a partner's infidelity, they feel their world has come crashing down.|They feel their world has come crashing down when people find out about a partner's infidelity.} We have actually never ever gotten a letter from somebody who discovered their mate was chronically unfaithful, and they enjoyed about it. They feel deceived and lied to. There are treatment groups where people speak about D-day, the day they found out of their spouse's infidelity.|When people find out about a partner's infidelity, they feel their world has come crashing down. There are treatment groups where people talk about D-day, the day they found out of their spouse's infidelity.} You are explaining things to yourself in such a way which justifies you and makes your spouse the problem. {However proceed and aim to show your claim.|Go ahead and attempt to show your claim.} Tell your hubby tonight, and motivate your "partner" to inform his wife. Wayne & Tamara No Higher Ground {I have two buddies I just recently found out were, or are, in a gay relationship. I say "were or are" since among them, Tom, is stating the relationship was an error and over prior to it started. The other one, Ray, says he walked away from one aspect of their relationship, but is not willing to offer Tom up as a pal. Tom says Ray is "a pal I can't get rid of."|The other one, Ray, says he walked away from one aspect of their relationship, but is not ready to offer Tom up as a pal. Tom says Ray is "a pal I can't get rid of."} {I discovered the relationship by noticing Ray is exceptionally possessive of Tom. {Ray becomes {envious and mad|mad and envious} when Tom is with his straight buddies.|When Tom is with his straight buddies, Ray becomes {envious and mad|mad and envious}.} To look at Tom with those straight buddies you would never ever guess in a million years he is gay. Tom has gone to severe measures to make sure his buddies know nothing about Ray.|Ray becomes {envious and mad|mad and envious} when Tom is with his straight buddies. Tom has gone to severe measures to make sure his buddies know nothing about Ray.} Ray keeps a photo of Tom on his desk at work, and he is exceptionally upset if Tom can't satisfy him for lunch. Tom, on the other hand, panics at the idea of his household discovering Ray. I am not to discuss Ray's name around Tom's buddies or household, that makes me feel exceptionally disloyal to Ray. {Tom truly desires Ray out of his life, but Ray threatens to out Tom to his family and friends if he breaks off their relationship. I take care of both of them, and neither of them will seek professional assistance. What can I do to assist them? Or should I just step far from the whole thing?|Tom truly desires Ray out of his life, but Ray threatens to out Tom to his buddies and household if he breaks off their relationship. Or should I just step away from the whole thing?} Phyllis Phyllis, nobody is on the greater ethical ground here. Tom desires you to lie and conceal his life from people who appreciate him and believe they know him. Ray is trying to blackmail Tom into a relationship. {Both are looking for, or sought, a relationship they are not entitled to. You would like to champion a cause, but neither Tom nor Ray has a cause to champion. Maybe their crash will cause some truth and truth into each of their lives. Stay out of it.|Both are looking for, or sought, a relationship they are not entitled to. You would like to champion a cause, but neither Tom nor Ray has a cause to champion.} Wayne & Tamara The other one, Ray, says he walked away from one aspect of their relationship, but is not ready to offer Tom up as a pal. Tom says Ray is "a pal I can't get rid of." Ray keeps a photo of Tom on his desk at work, and he is exceptionally upset if Tom can't satisfy him for lunch. I am not to discuss Ray's name around Tom's buddies or household, which makes me feel exceptionally disloyal to Ray. Tom truly desires Ray out of his life, but Ray threatens to out Tom to his buddies and household if he breaks off their relationship.

for the best reads -

The next step to find out more is to go to